Binge Eating

Posted Fri, 06/11/2010 - 20:59 by Melissa

Most of them are silent. We don't really hear their stories or talk about them. They create a blogspot blog called "My Paleo Journey" or "Paleo Cookin' Today." They write a few enthusiastic posts and then...nothing. Their inactive blogs disappear into the internet graveyard.

But their silence speaks volumes. For the vast majority of Americans who struggle with food-related issues, diet do not represent salvation. And even though paleo is not a typical diet, since it's a lifelong commitment to good health, not a crash weight loss diet- it still requires a major change. Some of these people pick up a copy of The Paleo Diet or The Primal Blueprint. And they struggle. They give up. Not everyone sticks with the paleo diet. We don't usually hear from these people.

That's why the case of Darwin's Table is so unique. Dan had an epiphany and realized he struggles from deeper food issues and started a blog about food addiction called Pavlov's Ape.

I guess it's time for me to come out of the closet: I am a binge eater. I have not binged in over a year, I'm asymptomatic, but that doesn't make me a former binge eater. Binge eating is like alcoholism. You can be dry for decades, but you are still an alcoholic. You just have managed it.

The science of addiction shows that it's about brain chemistry, brain chemistry that doesn't just change by eating a strict diet. Eating paleo improved my health and moods immensely, but it's a tool for recovery, not a panacea. I could eat all the grassfed beef in the world and it wouldn't change my difficult upbringing and my essential addictive personality. While eating well can help improve some markers of brain well-being, the adult brain can only change so much. 

In my experience with managing binge eating, seeing a professional therapist or participating in a support group is important. You have to hit eating disorders with two punches- psychological and physical. The first involves exploring the root of your disorder and learning strategies for dealing with it. The second involves simply nourishing yourself so that cravings can be lessened.

I say nourish and not restrict, because the latter can lead you down the path to other eating disorders. Don't think about giving up M&Ms, think about replacing them with pancetta.

I was feeling kind of low last week and I admittedly bought some peanut m&ms. I used to eat them by the bag and then eat a couple of bags of Doritos, and then wash it back with some Coke.  I once ate a whole cheesecake. I ate meals of fries topped with nacho "cheese" sauce and root beer floats with mint soft serve. I still have my food diary from back then, a sad attempt to manage my problem. I would sometimes just give up listing the foods I ate and just write "pile of total crap." That's what it was. I had no idea why I ate that way. It made me feel good for a short time, then bloated, guilty, and sick.

The problem really didn't abate until I stopped thinking about losing weight and started thinking about tackling my real problems- GERD, IBS, and asthma. I also saw a cognitive behavioral therapist.

The M&Ms last week....I couldn't finish them. They tasted disgusting. But in moments like that I realize that the capacity is still within me and it's important that I don't forget.

Comments

im very interested in the

by joe - 01/17/2011 - 04:40

im very interested in the paleo diet.. i also dont really know what it encompasses .. can some one point me in a good direction? thanks

http://huntgatherlove.com/con

by Melissa - 01/18/2011 - 23:48

http://huntgatherlove.com/content/start-here-post

Hey there- Great blog! I'm a

by Rebecca - 12/21/2010 - 20:20

Hey there-

Great blog! I'm a producer for a hit TLC show and we're currently looking for ADULTS who BINGE EAT for the show! If any readers or commenters are interested, write back at pickyeaterscasting@gmail.com or give me a call at 323.904.4680 x1147.

Hope to hear from you soon,

Rebecca

I came across your post when

by Binge Eater - 08/11/2010 - 12:28

I came across your post when searching for other binge eaters. Sometimes I feel so alone, and I begin to wonder if the problem is all in my head. Like maybe I *can* have one brownie and be satisfied. (Ha! I wish! How about a whole pan? and all of the guilt and remorse that comes with it?)

I haven't had a full blown binge in about 7 weeks and I've been feeling great! Then suddenly, the idea pops into my head "Let's get some candy and binge! It will feel soooo good." Then I start to imagine the chocolate melting in my mouth. It's like heaven. It really is the ultimate high for me.

Anyway, your post reminded me that this really is a one day at a time kind of addiction, and that I will never be 100% free from the urge to binge. Knowing that makes me realize how important it is to stay on the right path. Thanks so much for posting this!

Hej Melissa, I was just

by Naomi - 06/19/2010 - 12:19

Hej Melissa, I was just catching up reading on my favorite blogs- and I couldn't help but wonder wether your introduction to this post is intentional or just a coincidence?

Naomi (from mypaleokitchen)

Ack, totally a coincidence. I

by Melissa - 06/19/2010 - 16:44

Ack, totally a coincidence. I was just thinking of generic names :) Sorry, I will change. I will also link to your blog in my links section :)

I've been suspecting for a

by HTACHY - 06/15/2010 - 16:52

I've been suspecting for a while now that the struggles that people have with their weight have little or nothing to do with the nutritional value or the metabolic effects of the food we eat. I really think it has much more to do with the easy availability and greate taste of the food. Its really not that hard to keep yourself from overeating when the only food available is bland unseasoned, unprocessed food. The compulsion to overeat is created by the unnaturally pleasing tastes and textures of modern food. You have perfect saltiness, sweetness, texture, fat all in one food sometimes. Its really hard to stop eating food that is so darn good. I don't doubt that Paleo eating is much better for health than modern food BUT I don't think the metabolic effects and 'gene expression' are the reason why modern food has made people fat. Its the taste. Its too good, its too easy and that makes it addictive.

We are all so fond of calling processed food 'junk' and 'crap' and 'frankenfood' and once you know a little more about what goes into it and how its made it does seem that way, but one thing I just don't find believable is when people say that it doesn't taste good - because it does! People who claim that all fast food or processed food taste bad to them are just engaging in a form of posturing, to seem like they have more refined or more natural tastes. Its BS. It tastes great and they have food scientists designing it to make sure that it tastes great. And I don't buy this argument that once you start eating Paleo you lose the taste for it. That's baloney. Its designed to press all the right taste buttons and you aren't ever going to lose the taste for it. That's just something people tell themselves to convince themselves that they don't want it anymore.

Not that Paleo food needs to taste awful - but the reason why Kitavans and Mexican Pima and other traditional carb-eating cultures can stay thin is that their carb-laden food just isn't as good and as easily available as modern carb-laden food like french fries, and pizza and potato chips. It really is a sacrifice of some pleasure to maintain a Paleo way of eating but I think its worth it.

What does it mean to taste

by Melissa - 06/15/2010 - 19:06

What does it mean to taste good? That's what I wonder now. I think there is a "good" in terms of how it pushes our buttons vs. a "good" in terms of culinary quality. For me, learning to appreciate the latter was a HUGE thing. Peanut M&Ms vs. Steak tartare is like internet porn vs. crazy awesome sex. The peanut M&Ms made you feel good, but they are a culinary monstrosity. They have a few shallow stimulating flavors. For a lonely sad malnourished vulnerable person...that's pretty freaking tempting. It takes a lot of nourishment, physical and mental, to make food into something that nourishes your body rather than a stand-in for other comforts.

But remember how many men who have regular good sex also watch porn. Most haute-cuisine chefs I know have habits like doritos....it's like drugs.

You send a boatload of Doritos to Kitava and in a few years they'd be sick too.

Thank you for your open and

by AutumnP - 06/15/2010 - 10:54

Thank you for your open and honest sharing, Melissa (and responders, too). Your post and the large number of responses help show that diet is only a part of a very complex, and often emotionally painful, issue.

Thanks for your honesty and

by Maria - 06/14/2010 - 21:50

Thanks for your honesty and for the information you provided. Your story offers some hope to some of us who are still struggling.

Thanks for sharing. There's

by Cordie - 06/14/2010 - 16:08

Thanks for sharing. There's so much shame and isolation with the binge thing, but when people are honest about it... it's kind of like being able to turn the lights on and face it squarely. I had a very similar experience recently with a bag of marshmallows, and I totally get it.

I've finally gotten over

by Daniel - 06/13/2010 - 20:14

I've finally gotten over veganism,It's like any other religion that tries to make you feel bad about yourself all the time.I've found that most of the arguments are no longer compelling to me.

Thank you for sharing. I'm an

by Lydia - 06/13/2010 - 08:28

Thank you for sharing. I'm an emotional bing eater, too. I appreciate your honesty and advice, as well as the helpful info in the comments. This is a wonderful blog.

If you haven't run across the

by M - 06/13/2010 - 08:21

If you haven't run across the book already, you might find "The End of Overeating" by David Kessler MD to be of interest. It is the clearest and most succinct explanation of food addiction I have run across to date.

It's a little short on solutions, but it is a great help in understanding the mechanism of the problem.

Great blog BTW, you have a very useful perspective on things.

What about Almond Joy? With

by Stancel - 06/12/2010 - 21:56

What about Almond Joy? With whole almonds and coconut encased in chocolate, it seems at first glance ironically healthy. But of course there is the sugar used to make it.

I am of the opinion that some indulgence once in a while isn't a bad thing. I'm not talking about binging, just eating something that you can't normally eat (high-carb or high sugar food, for instance)

I have history with binge eating too. So I understand.

There is a lot of things I

by JP - 06/12/2010 - 17:37

There is a lot of things I could write down, but nothing is going to beat ''congrats on your progress and actively taking care of yourself''. In my book, this is inspirational.

Btw, my parents have a farm too (they have chickens, ducks, rabbits, some pigs, some goats, etc.). It is not a commercial farm but more like raising animals to feed their family. Not only is the meat tastier and healthier, but it is also cheaper. Good luck with that!

JP

Thanks for this post. It's

by Susan - 06/12/2010 - 16:22

Thanks for this post. It's difficult admitting something like that. Especially since bingeing isn't taken as seriously as it should be.

I too struggle with bingeing. I have a sugar addiction. I literally eat sugar by the spoonful. I think it's important to not just address the physical act of bingeing, but the emotional issues behind it. I personally struggle with mental illness as well, so I know first hand that holding some sort of emotion inside (even unintentionally) can wreak havoc down the line. My sugar cravings become uncontrollable when something is bothering me. Talking and/or writing about what is bothering me helps a lot.

Thanks for your honesty. Good luck!
-Susan

I am really glad to see a

by Trevor - 06/13/2010 - 12:35

I am really glad to see a post like this. I've been an emotional eater probably since about 7 or 8. Or at least that's as far back as I can make the connection. And I don't come across as one, I'm lean which really means I hide it well with being a fitness nut. Although, if someone was watching me closely enough they could easily call it. So a lot of my friends assume I can "afford the calories" but emotionally it hits me hard. And I do binge, sitting down and eating 4 pounds of fruit cake while watching "Chocolate" is enough for me to say I have a problem.

I'm going to try and journal on a regular basis, maybe not daily but I think that will help with the emotions and constructively dealing with them. I don't need the depression that comes with binging.

I'm about to do my first 30 days of strict Paleo so from the physical side that should help with my trigger foods. I did Paleo plus diary about a month ago. I felt so much better. I've just been working my way to making Paleo a lifestyle of eating.

there's a book called the

by emily - 06/12/2010 - 12:52

there's a book called the Diet Cure and the Mood Cure by Julia Ross (wapf has a review on their site with thumbs up) that you or others might find helpful. she advocates a low/no grain paleo-esque eating plan but also numerous supplements and specific foods to help change the causes of dis-ordered eating. she is a former eating disorder therapist and now runs a mental health clinic that treats people mostly with nutrition. worth looking into.

Ate a pint of Haagen-Daz

by fearsclave - 06/12/2010 - 12:50

Ate a pint of Haagen-Daz cookie dough ice cream last night. First time in about eight months.

It didn't taste as good as I remembered.

I am a struggler. Things can

by Jess - 06/12/2010 - 10:58

I am a struggler. Things can pop out of the wood work at any time even if one has been doing great for a long while. I find stress is my main trigger. I have to watch the emotional triggers a ton.

It is true that avoiding sugars helps me avoid craving sugars though as well.

Thanks for your honesty.

I've really enjoyed your

by Chris - 06/12/2010 - 06:53

I've really enjoyed your blog, especially when you are having fun exploring tastes, learning butchering, etc. I like to read it because Paleo seems to provide you with a sense of freedom--freedom from IBS, from vegetarian guilt, etc. When I check in, I like to anticipate the post where you tell us about getting out of NYC and then eventually the ones where you tell us about what's going on with your chicken farm. But if it never happens, that's okay. Things don't have to turn out perfect. If they did, you'd be like a goddess, not a cavewoman.

Recently, I traveled to NYC, and I extended my stay an extra day, so I could go to the Fatty Cue after reading about it on your blog. I missed out on the whole pig, but it was great. The afternoon I spent in Williamsburg was the best time I've had in months. Thanks!

Thank you! Hehe, my family

by Melissa - 06/12/2010 - 08:21

Thank you! Hehe, my family just bought a farm. Right now something that is a big issue for me- stay in NYC or leave the rat race? I love things like Fatty Cue- I'm glad you enjoyed it there!

Leave the rat race! Best

by Gerry - 06/12/2010 - 15:39

Leave the rat race! Best thing I ever did. I'm on tour with my band now, and I've managed to stay pretty paleo. I buy canned, wild-caught sockeye or herring and I mix it with avocado, onions, tomatoes, and lime juice. When I have access to a kitchen, I cook an omelet or a steak (grassfed is almost impossible to come by on the road, but I get leaner cuts) with some green veggies. Last night, during a bill on which we were the last of 5 bands, I walked down Hollywood Blvd and found a kebab place where I got a lamb skewer. I have a knife in the van, and while the other guys are snarfing down some cheap, sugar-laden Thai food, I'm chopping vegetables out in the parking lot. It's all been worth it, because I feel incredible, even after almost a month of being on the road, and I'm even able to party with the guys, I just have to have my own little stash of wine or whiskey because most venues only provide beer for the bands.

Anyway, my point is, getting out of NYC was the best thing I ever did, and paleo is a part of that transition into a life where I'm happier than I've ever been, doing all the things I ever wanted to do, and completely stress free despite being dirt poor. NYC can be an addiction unto itself.

Thanks for sharing. It seems

by Freud - 06/12/2010 - 05:57

Thanks for sharing.

It seems like a good number of nutrition bloggers have histories of eating disorders. To be fair, maybe they should post disclaimers prominently on their blogs. How are we to know this new passion for paleo or whatever, isn't part of the same disease process that caused the eating obsession in the first place.

That's why I think it's

by Melissa - 06/12/2010 - 08:19

That's why I think it's important that people with these issues do paleo under the supervision of a therapist or support group (and not one that is selling you something, like weight-watchers).

Great post! So many of us

by The 50 Best Health Blogs - 06/12/2010 - 01:51

Great post! So many of us struggle, and yet we are ashamed to admit publicly that we are failing. Thanks for your honesty.

Jim Purdy

Melissa, Kudos -- thank you

by DR.BG - 06/12/2010 - 00:23

Melissa,

Kudos -- thank you for unleashing your transparency and courage.

I think a lot of my former binge-behavior was related to my hypothyroidism (thoroughly undiagnosed by traditional medicine since the TSH is low 1.0-1.6 and considered 'good' despite symptoms and a low-mod FT4).... err.. eating, caffeine, alcohol, reading, exercise, endurance events, clubbing... the list goes on.

Addictive behavior can be linked to deficiencies
--thyroid hormone
--B-vitamins
--neurotransmitters

This is curious (and true)...
(my link does work -- google 'the herbal advisor hypothyroid solved the natural way'

Dr. Dan -- Your new site is AWESOME. Hang in there dude!

-G

I was always an emotional

by Girl Gone Primal - 06/11/2010 - 22:28

I was always an emotional eater, but I didn't have any problems for a year after going primal. However, a pain-relief medication I took in February totally messed up my hormonal balance, and I found myself on a mood roller-coaster and unable to find satiety in food, which didn't help matters. Getting rid of the drug was only half of the 'two punches' since I'm now stuck with higher than normal cortisol levels and other imbalances that have me obsessive over food. I'm currently trialling Jon Gabriel's visualisation meditations, to see if there's an emotional root to the lingering issues. How much more valuable it is when bloggers explain how they got to be interested enough if diet to warrant writing about it, especially when readers often come to the blogs to find relatability and support. We all need some accountability and interdependent thinking.

Kudos on avoiding a binge! I haven't bought anything non-primal for a very long time, but I still have issues with nuts - if they're in the house, I eat them. Hopefully I'll be able to find the portion control that allowed me to be satisfied with a handful of nuts this time last year.

Let's hope that those failed bloggers are still out there in cyber-space, reading widely, and finding the support they need.

Thanks for the post. Since I

by Dan - 06/11/2010 - 22:25

Thanks for the post. Since I 'came out' I keep hearing from all sorts of people about how they struggle with paleo. I think I may have started a minor movement. haha. But seriously, the more we as paleo eaters start to see this as a tool for weight loss rather than a magic pill the better off these new paleo dieters will be. Its about expectation. If you expect an easy ride your in for a big shock and then dissapointment and resentment. Like I had when I realised that I was probably addicted to food and the paleo diet had not delivered. The good thing is that the paleo diet is the best diet to abstain from the addictive trigger foods, and this is based of the neurobiological work. These researchers don't even know what paleo is!

I disagree that paleo eating

by Christian - 06/13/2010 - 11:33

I disagree that paleo eating should be considered a tool for weight loss. It may result in weight loss, but that isn't always the primary concern. A lot of people, myself included, decide to eat paleo for better health - weight loss wasn't something I particularly wanted or needed. Considering paleo just a weight loss plan demeans the intent.

I agree with you 100%. I see

by Primal Toad - 06/12/2010 - 09:32

I agree with you 100%. I see the primal/paleo community growing immensely. The thing about it is that its a lifestyle. It is not a fad diet. It's how we lived for thousands of years. Its unique in its own unique way...

It will take time. But, eventually there will be millions upon millions of people living a primal/paleo lifestyle. I full heartedly believe this.

Brave post. Thanks for

by marc - 06/11/2010 - 22:07

Brave post. Thanks for sharing.

The journey is more important

by Aaron - 06/11/2010 - 21:29

The journey is more important than the destination. Everyone has their own baggage to carry on the journey. You're doing better than many if you can recognize your own "baggage".

Good job not finishing the M&Ms!

Thanks for being out there and not fading into the internet graveyard.